I admit...he was the first one.... but it 'WAS'.... in these 2 yrs i tried to forget him.... get rid all of the memories about him, even his smile... get rid of all this hopeless and helpless feeling.
i met him... but i could't even say 'hi'... i can't face him... i feel burdened for all my mistakes toward him... it did hurt... but, I must not cry... i have to be strong, emotionally... and ignore my feeling!
i did't mention his name for the whole last semester... ok, tu tipu...i did mention his name mase nak tido! as usual, i hang out with my niece when i'm here...and i did mention his name during our conversation... just once! then, i met him.... coincident!
from that 'coincident'.... my day, my feeling and my focus became very very very miserable!!!
this 'coincident' always happened on me.... for these past few years i believed in that and waiting for a miracle... but now i became tired of this circumstances... white flag!!!
today, i must stop this hopeless feeling...i know this is hard...but i must try and be strong... and now I begin to develop feeling for my future-imam.. Inshaa-Allah.=)
please let him away.... or give me strength to let my feeling away.
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